We all have negative emotions. As much as the ‘love and light’ crowd professes that positive thoughts will influence our lives positively, it’s impossible to be happy all the time. Some situations make us feel negative emotions. And that’s okay.
In fact, we can learn a lot from negative emotions. And by modifying our emotions through understanding, we learn to resolve the issue that creates them in the first place. Each of the five negative emotions helps us in a different way.
How do Negative Emotions Help Us?
Each negative emotion is like an alarm bell. Our subconscious let’s us know that something isn’t quite right by making us feel a certain way. When we know what our negative emotions are trying to tell us, we can address the issue and resolve the emotion.
There are five main negative emotions: anger, sadness, fear, guilt and hurt. All other negative emotions are varying intensities of these emotions. There is no set in stone formula; Some people cry when they’re angry, others cry when they’re sad and some only cry when they’re hurt. These main emotions are simply guidelines, it’s best to follow our own intuition when it comes to placing other emotions in these categories.
Finding the Right Emotion to Resolve
For example, Susan could feel taken aback by something someone says, this makes her angry. Susan’s anger makes her lash out. After she lashes out she feels guilty.
But we can’t just say that Susan now feels guilt, so she needs to resolve the guilt. We need to look at what the primary cause for her reaction was and resolve that.
In this case Susan felt hurt by something someone said. So to resolve her emotional reaction and learn what her subconscious is really reacting to. It’s important that Susan develop the skills to become present in the moment in order to understand what ‘belief/story/internal dialogue that her subconscious mind is filtering her perception through. Ultimately, her subconscious mind developed this filter some time in the past (usually in early childhood or during a traumatic experience) in an attempt to protect her from experiencing further painful emotions. During Clinical Hypnotherapy Sessions the client is able to develop present moment self-awareness and specific tools to stop limiting beliefs and associated behaviour patterns and replace them with more empowering beliefs, emotions and actions.
Resolving the Negative Emotion
In other words, Susans subconscious is trying to tell her that her values have been crossed and that she needs to let go of her need for outside validation. Going deeper she may realize that her need for validation stems from a childhood fear of rejection. She needs to work on her fear response with regard to rejection.
Hypnotherapy is therapy used in conjunction with Hypnosis. Hypnosis is state of altered consciousness which allows me to work directly with the subconscious mind. As clients allow the deeply relaxing feelings of hypnosis to settle in; the conscious-mind relaxes, allowing the subconscious-mind to accept new and preferred suggestions for how to process and respond to situations, people or events that currently trigger a negative response within you. As your mind becomes accustomed to this new state of awareness it becomes much easier to resolve past emotions and let them go as they come up for you. You will only ever go as deep as you feel comfortable.
1 – Learning from Anger
Anger is a result of poor communication. When you feel yourself getting angry take a moment to identify why you feel angry. Who didn’t hear you? Or were you the one that wasn’t listening?
Anger teaches us that we need to be more present. Instead of blindly rushing ahead we need to identify exactly where the miscommunication took place and resolve the misunderstanding. Looking forward we can ensure that we don’t make the same mistake of not listening or explaining properly.
2 – Learning from Sadness
We feel sad because things aren’t the way we’d imagined they would be. When you’re sad you feel hard done by. As if the world is against you. But is it really? Is the entire universe conspiring to make your life miserable.
Sure, sometimes we may feel like nothing ever works out. But wallowing in sadness only causes more sadness. To resolve sadness we need to identify why we feel like we can learn from our experiences so that we can accept our current circumstances and move forward to a better future. The more we learn to accept things not working out the way we wanted them to, and learn from our mistakes, the more gratitude we are able to feel.
3 – Learning from Fear
Fear stems from uncertainty and happens when we don’t know what to expect. When you’re afraid it’s usually because you aren’t sure what will transpire. You don’t know if you’re making the right choices or taking the right actions.
But does fear protect us? No. Fear doesn’t change a thing. What does help is figuring out why we’re afraid. When we know what we are most afraid of happening we can take steps to ensure we will survive even if the worst possible thing happens. This is couples with our fight, flight or freeze response. If we train our subconscious to incorporate our lessons, we start reacting in our best interests within seconds, instead of self-sabotaging.
4 – Learning from Guilt
You’ve made a mistake and now you wish you can go back and change things. That’s guilt. But you can’t go back. All you can do is learn from the mistake and move forward.
We all make mistakes. Mistakes aren’t a bad thing. When we feel guilty we need to look at what we did that was wrong, and find a way to do it better in the future. As with fear, the more we train our subconscious-mind, the easier it becomes to learn from our mistakes instead of regretting it. Time is always moving forward. We need to keep in mind that the past isn’t there to haunt is, it’s there to teach us.
5 – Learing from Hurt
Hurt and sadness are very similar. In both cases you will feel sorry for yourself. The difference is that when you are hurt you feel like you have been personally attacked and wounded. It’s less circumstantial and more personal.
When we are hurt we need to adjust our boundaries and our perception of others. No one can make us feel a certain way. Our perception of them makes us feel a certain way. That basically means that if we feel hurt we are judging others’ actions towards us as an attack. But was it really? Or was it just their way of expressing themselves? Was it just them acting out as a result of their own negative emotions?
The Bottom Line
“It is not a person or situation that affects your life; it is the meaning you give to that person or situation, which influences your emotions and actions. Your choice is to change the meaning you gave it or to change your response, in order to create the outcome you want.”Shannon L. Alder
All negative emotions are little alarm bells from our subconscious telling us that we are “in danger”. More often than not, all this means is that we need to learn something about ourselves and our beliefs. Once we adjust our outlook on a situation and take the necessary actions those negative emotions dissipate.
By looking to the future with a positive goal in mind we can start to alter our automatic emotional responses and become more attuned to what our subconscious is trying to teach us.